Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
