we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
