Are we in a gay sports bar?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
