I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
