Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
