if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
