She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
We left the knife in your bed.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
