Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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