Betty ford says i'm here all night
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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