"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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