This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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