Can i not drive my cunt home
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
