after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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