Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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