Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Where are you guys?
Drunk
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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