Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Alive.
So much puke
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
