She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
