WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Randomize
