I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Are we still banned from the library?
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
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