the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
