I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
