Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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