why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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