I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I had to cum in my sink.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
