he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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