You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
