your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
