Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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