It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
