it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize