I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
