Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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