We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
did you just send me my own nude
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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