Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize