I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
