hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
