ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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