Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
