I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
