Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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