we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
birth control should be required to get into college
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
