Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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