how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
you never un-have a 4some
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize