READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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