I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
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