we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
