I think I died a long time ago.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
