the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
