I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
