He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Randomize
