I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
