make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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