Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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