btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize