Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
