I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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