I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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