a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
