her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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