how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
